lessons I learned before 25

fragments from a girl still learning

1. Writing is a lot about defying death, so you must keep doing it. Live forever if you can.

2. To think about tomorrow me. It is so easy to think only about the present moment, and I think we should live in it, but to only think about yourself as existing in the present with no due consideration to your future self makes it much harder to grow.

3. Going outside for a few hours can cure most things.

4. To love and to be loved in return is a lot about being inconvenienced, amongst the other beautiful things. I know that you don’t want to wake up at 7am and take two trains to get brunch with your family or sacrifice your big comfy bed for a visit with old friends, but you must. You must make the choice to sacrifice little luxuries for the sake of a lot of love.

5. Food always tastes better when it is shared with someone you love.

6. Life is so much shorter than you could ever imagine. You must not let it pass you without smelling the flowers. And speaking to the moon. And laughing as much as you can. And smiling at the sun. And, and, and.

7. Silence is usually the best way to deal with the feeling of being betrayed. You will know when people cannot be reasoned with, so do not expend your energy trying.

8. Music is the hack to change your mood. Billy Joel for the feeling of youthful misdirection, The Lumineers for a longing unspoken, Hozier for mythological horror.

9. The loneliness will never leave you, but you can put it down sometimes.

10. So, so many places and people will be your home, and you will always be haunted by them when it is time to leave. Like ghosts, memories will follow you everywhere in your heart and your ears. Life becomes a lot like a graveyard when you grow. The more you love the more you lose.

11. Physical media is integral, and you must choose it often. I went to a seminar once about how precarious the internet’s storage truly is, and how easy it is for things to be lost forever. Make yourself a physical archive of books, journals, diaries, drawings, dreams and whatever else. Keep it close.

12. Potential is nothing if you don’t realise it. Write and write and write and write. And write.